i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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