and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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