i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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