Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
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You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
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well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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