It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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