i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize