How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
