dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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