Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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