he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
