I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
