hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
