I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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