I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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