so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
