I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
ok first of all what the fuck
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
