Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
