The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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