Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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