marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
