Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
