we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
