I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
