u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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