...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
