I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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