Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
