I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
