That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
