My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
