Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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