ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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