This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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