wakey wakey hands off snakey
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
