When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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