it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
