i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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