I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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