I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
