There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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