I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
