He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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