im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
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So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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