He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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