Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Randomize
