I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
