um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
