No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
