Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
