i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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