Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
