Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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