I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
That accounts for only three of the penises
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
