HIV tests are more positive than that guy
wanna go halves on a baby?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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