it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
