How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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