lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
