I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
