my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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