so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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