You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
