Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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