well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I need a burrito and a hug.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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