the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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