Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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