I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
