ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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