every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
