last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
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