I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
