you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
